This facilitates an understanding of these interactions from a natural science point of view. Over the past two decades in particular, a promising new behavior analytic conceptualization of human language and cognition has been gaining empirical support. This understanding of human behavior has had an impact with regard to practical application as well as theory. This model offers a particular perspective on psychological fulfillment that is as relevant in the area of romantic relationships as it is in other areas of psychological importance in life.
By building on this foundation, the hope is to provide a guide to robust and fulfilling romantic relationships that go beyond a reliance on feeling good. For Dahl, Stewart, Martell, Kaplan and Walser, a definition of love as valued action makes more sense than love as a feeling state.
As behavioral psychologists, they believe that behavior analytic science has much to offer in the examination of how love as valued action can lead to better relationships in all their diversity. Feeling love, passion, and excitement about someone because that person provides reasons to feel good is a powerful source of reinforcement that is commonly seen as paramount in intimate relationships. At such times, it might seem common sense that the timing is right to either seek therapy—typically to change aspects of the partner—or leave the relationship.
However, there are other important sources of reinforcement for relationship behavior besides reciprocation. According to ACT, people have hierarchies of values. But this time is different, right? It's what we tell ourselves. And we can believe it, because it's just hard to fathom what makes us fall out of love. There are things that we can point to about why relationships failed — someone cheated, you had to live in separate places, it was never really right in the first place.
But a lot of relationships go out not with a bang, but with a whimper, and it's that slow waning of love that's so much more difficult to comprehend. Relationships take work. The idea of two people falling blissfully in love and always being exactly attuned to what the other needs is very unrealistic.
If the chemistry and the connection are there then there are different opportunities to build a relationship. However, one of the best predictors of a good relationship is how hard both parties are willing to work at things. You start trying to interest your partner more, be it through dressing up, trying new things, or putting yourself out there more. Not only are you going to panic about what this means for your relationship, your self-confidence is going to plummet dramatically.
Feeling undesirable and rejected is going to start affecting all aspects of your life and will only drive a wedge further between you and your partner. In the early stages of your relationship, you want to be with each other all the time. You spend most of your time together, and the rest of it sending Snapchats and cute texts. First, you leave a few hair grips at his place, then he leaves a toothbrush at yours and all of a sudden, a drawer becomes a key.
If you no longer find yourself actively missing your partner, something has definitely shifted. The fact that the connection between you and your partner has changed suggests that your feelings have, too. You might find yourself no longer replying to messages as quickly as before, or not being the first to send them anymore.
Usually feelings like this pass, but there are things you can do to deal with them too. Check out ReachOut. This could be a sign that something more is going on. It can help to talk to someone you trust, like a friend, family member or counsellor. Feelings change Feelings change a lot during puberty. What am I feeling? Am I normal?
0コメント